Legatron: the man, they myth, the leg. (a BIG TIME unnecessary extra)

What actually happens when Greg Zuerlein kicks (Camera slowed to 1/1000th speed)

   

     Gregory Nelson Zuerlein came from most humble of beginnings, growing up as a small child in rural omaha Nebraska as the fourth child of Skip and Tanya Zuerlein.  Growing up on a farm brought trying times for young Gregory.  He was picked on often as a child, who often sat on the proverbial sidelines while his older brothers, who were stronger and faster played and fought and made the rules to anything that they were doing.  Greg was a misfit, a nerd.  Many a night Greg would go to bed sore and bruised from the beat-downs his older brothers, who were built like linebackers, would give him.
     Yet Greg was not without dexterity.  From a very young age he found he possessed a certain aptitude for feats of foot.  This occurred one serendipitous evening when he decided to kick his oldest brother Skip Jr. off of him during another drubbing.  This classic case of self-defense was innocent enough, but from the kick Skip Jr. more or less saw the curvature of the earth.  Skippy J prettymuch rode the short bus to school after that, and it tore his family apart.
      That fortuitous night also changed Greg, and he became a new, more confident man.  Zuerlein may have lost his family, but found his calling under the big top as he ran away with the circus where he would kick midgets through a right of fire and elephants onto other elephants.  Greg's real dream was realized 2 year later when an opportunity to do what his older brothers were never able to do was realized.  Yes the NFL came knocking in 2012 when Greggy the Leggy became the 171st pick of the NFL draft.
     Greg now spends his days kicking pigskins for the highly acclaimed Jumbo Gumbo football squad and has recently been named co-captain.   "He can still place-kick an elephant 35 yards" recently claimed Gumbo's owner Paul Hovey.  "in fact he plays hacky-sack with one twice a week just for strength training."

Greg Zuerlein
The man, the myth, the legend.